Not so long ago a woman came into the store while I was working and selected a bottle of wine from the shelf. "How much is this?" she asked, looking at the price tag.

"It's $12.95 plus tax," I said. "Is there anything else I can suggest or help you find?"

"This used to be less," she said. I inwardly rolled my eyes but continued smiling helpfully. "That Talitha--trying get a few more dollars."

I almost lost it. I have worked food and wine retail in New York for more than four years now, and this was perhaps the most infuriating comment I have ever been subjected to. "Ma'am, that wine has been the same price since the first day we opened," I said, gritting my teeth. "And if you know of any non-profit wine stores in the area, I'd love to go and check one out." I smiled warmly. "We have some great $10 and unders you might like."

She paid for her wine and left.

Why the story? Well, wine prices are about to go up folks, so please don't be this woman. Some things are our fault. All of us live in New York, which is expensive. Talitha needs to feed and clothe her child and occasionally put a couple dollars into the college fund. And we all drink more wine than is strictly necessary. But at the end of the day this is a business, the point of which is to make money. We all insist on staying paid. Guilty as charged.

The weak dollar though? We didn't make that happen. Winemakers in California, Chile and Argentina raising prices to match European wine prices? That's not our fault either. No, when you come in and see that your favorite French or Spanish wine is $3 higher than it used to be, don't curse us under your breath, and certainly not to our faces. Because we're going to stay in the crazy "for profit" game.

And basically, it's Bush's fault.

The weak dollar is making European wine much, much more expensive. We're as sad about it as you. It's making it harder for us to bring you fantastic, well-priced wines and more expensive to drink our way through this recession. If you think about it, the weak dollar seems like a vast Republican conspiracy: It makes wine, travel to Europe and in general all foreign things more expensive. It makes us distrustful and insular, looking for a power higher than even Ben Bernacke to deliver us from economic evil. It turns us into small-minded folk. Don't let it turn you against us! Fight the power.

So when you see your favorite Burgundian Pinot Noir is $5 more than last year don't blame us, blame Bush.

Labels: wine culture